Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Are women as visual as men are?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are the reasons for your political affiliation with the Democratic party? What are some aspects of the party that you support and some that you do not?

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why am I tired all the time?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Cher’s son Elijah Blue Allman hospitalized after drug overdose: report - Page Six

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Questlove on Sly Stone: ‘His Artistry Came With a Burden’ - Rolling Stone

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Powerful solar flare erupts from sun triggering radio blackouts across North America (video) - Space

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Loneliness is bad for your health—but it may not be as deadly as once thought, new research finds - AOL.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

Why do older siblings always hate younger siblings?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why did the American's mulberry harbor not hold up after D-Day?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

What type of crossdresser are you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Time (physics): Who started counting our current time or is it just "set" by some scientific measure?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard